


M'Riss and C’LotPol Come Together

by Clea2011



Series: Summer Pornathon Works 2015 [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4631682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clea2011/pseuds/Clea2011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the planet of Myth, in a time of no magic… the destiny of the universe rested on the shoulders of a young man. His name was M’Riss. </p><p>Only when the holy consort C’LotPol was found, and made one with M’Riss, would magic return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	M'Riss and C’LotPol Come Together

**Author's Note:**

> This was my Summer Pornathon week 3 entry, and was the runner-up in Group B, here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4576899/chapters/10424748
> 
> This week was Tropesmash, where you pick a setting, a trope and a kink from the list here http://summerpornathon.livejournal.com/112097.html and create a 500-750 word fic. (Space, Fuck or Die, Virginity)
> 
> This also fills the Merlin Writers Trope Bingo square 'Fuck or Die', Trope Bingo Square 'Sex Pollen', and HC Bingo square 'Wild Card' (that'll be sex pollen as well).

_On the planet of Myth, in a time of no magic… the destiny of the universe rested on the shoulders of a young man. His name was M’Riss._

Only when the holy consort C’LotPol was found, and made one with M’Riss, would magic return.

As the holy consort would basically rule the universe, as well as getting to have lots of hot sex with M’Riss, there was intense competition for the position. Emperor Kilgharrah, wary of imposters seducing his heir, ordered protection.

Captain Arthur Pendragon of the Camelot Space Corps, _Hot_ magazine Rear of the Year winner and universally renowned for saving the galaxy twice already, had been assigned.

It was guard duty, and somewhat beneath Arthur’s dignity. But the sacred M’Riss had turned out to be not only pure of body but also young, hot, and with cheekbones to die for. Arthur had no intention of dying, but he appreciated why they’d be considered a universal treasure. And at least M’Riss was sitting down, so no threat to Arthur’s title.

M’Riss sat on a big gold throne. He wore a skimpy gold loincloth and not a lot else, meditating silently on important spiritual matters. Pilgrims constantly visited to admire him.

As there wasn’t a lot else to do, Arthur spent a lot of time admiring him as well. Mostly Arthur admired the flimsy loincloth and fantasised about going where no-one had gone before.

Sometimes, M’Riss stopped meditating and looked around. The pilgrims sighed adoringly. Arthur rolled his eyes. M’Riss frowned at him. He never spoke because that was forbidden, but the disapproval was obvious.

M’Riss was an ungrateful dick. In a skimpy gold costume. With cheekbones. And very blue eyes. Not that Arthur was noticing at all.

Every day, High Priest Gaius would stand in front of M’Riss and make some nonsensical proclamation about the future. Arthur rolled his eyes at that too.

“The Holy Consort will be coming soon,” Gaius announced one day.

“Thank fuck!” Arthur muttered, because that meant the end of guard duty and the start of exciting universe-saving, which was far more Arthur’s thing.

M’Riss gazed at Arthur, because he always did.

\---

Two days later William of Ealdor and his men stormed the temple. Ridiculously, they were all holding plants.

“The aithusa flower!” Lancelot yelled, as a bloom was shoved in Gwaine’s face. “Run!”

Gwaine didn’t run but snogged Lancelot instead.

Arthur stood firm in front of M’Riss, taking out his weapon and firing at Will (and his men). Still they kept coming, flinging the flowers at M’Riss. Arthur brushed the sickly sweet-smelling blooms aside.

Lancelot and Gwaine were busy shagging, so Arthur heroically drove out the intruders single-handedly and sealed the door.

M’Riss was watching him. Arthur desperately wanted to bend him over that throne and fuck him senseless.

“Gwen,” he said into his intercom. “We’ve been breached. I need backup. And what’s an aithusa flower?”

Gwen told him. “Did you inhale the sex pollen?” she asked

Arthur had intercepted all the flowers meant for M’Riss. He was covered in pollen.

“Um... no,” he lied.

“Back up arrives in an hour,” Gwen promised.

An hour. Unfortunately, the aithusa flower made you so hungry for sex that you’d die within 30 minutes if you didn’t mate. And the only other person in the room was the sacred M’Riss, whose virginity Arthur was sworn to protect. M’Riss, who was walking down the steps from the throne towards Arthur.

“Oh fuck!” muttered Arthur. The gold loincloth was even skimpier when M’Riss stood erect.

M’Riss nodded eagerly, and knelt on the divine stone of claiming, presenting.

Arthur had never failed a mission. However, the virginal hole was right there on offer, mysteriously wet and prepared. Arthur didn’t particularly want to die of sex pollen desperation so he deflowered the sacred arse, thrusting his way to a noisy completion. M’Riss frantically worked his own cock, spilling over the temple floor.

There was a magical flash of gold through the room.

“Thank fuck for that!” M’Riss panted. “What kind of bloody thick consort are you?”

“What?” Apparently the sacred M’Riss was a potty mouth. Who knew?

“I’ve been giving you the come-on for weeks. I couldn’t talk, just give you looks. And wear this draughty thing!”

“I was supposed to guard you.”

“You were supposed to _rescue_ me! I had to email Will for help. I was bored to death! And cold! And horny! I’ve got the stupidest C’LotPol ever.”

Arthur thought he liked it better when M’Riss was silent.

 


End file.
